Love is the most powerful emotion that a person can experience. It has the power to make us act irrationally to please the object of our affections, forgive mistakes and insults that we wouldn’t otherwise let slide so easily, and it makes us feel like life is worth living, no matter what else goes wrong.
But keeping a close relationship between two people over many years can be challenging, no matter how strong the bond of love is between you. Other obligations like work, our social circles, and yes, even our children (though we love them dearly), can all be factors that prevent you from staying close to your special someone.
If you’ve found that you and your partner have started to drift apart, or even if everything is just fine, but you’d like to grow even closer, here are some ideas to help you reconnect with your one and only.
Do Activities You Both Enjoy Together
Finding common ground is one of the first steps to developing a relationship, beginning well before you start dating or even before your first kiss. To keep the butterflies fluttering between you as time goes along, a great option is to get back to those activities you both enjoy that you can share together.
This doesn’t mean you have to get fancy and spend a ton of cash every week. You can do some simple activities, like watching a TV show, cooking, going for a walk, or taking your child to the park together.
The key is that you’re sharing an experience together. Even if your attention is mostly focused on what you’re doing, that’s okay: your partner knows that you’re doing it with them, and that shared experience will give you something to discuss after you’re finished, the memory of time spent in each other’s company, and will reaffirm that the love of your life will be there for you when you need them.
Go On a Date at Least Once a Week
Tying in with the first idea, if you want to grow closer to your lover, you need to make it a priority, and so do they. This means setting your obligations aside, and blocking off dedicated time to spend with each other.
When we first start dating, we turn into the best version of ourselves to both attract and please our partner, to give ourselves the best shot at winning the heart of our crush. We’re way more particular about hygiene, how our hair and makeup looks, and we always dress to impress. Our focus is completely on each other, and the romance is at its peak. As time goes on, and we get comfortable, we often stop putting in all that effort to look our best and act a certain way because, quite frankly, it’s just way too much work. This is normal for almost all couples, and it doesn’t have to kill your relationship. In fact, Julia, who runs a marriage counselling practice in Sydney has a great post on the transition from romance into true love.
Still, we like to feel like our partner has eyes only for us, and it makes us feel incredibly good to put on our little black dress, spend an hour on our hair, and pull out the expensive perfume, because when we look good, we know it. And so does our partner. Taking a date night will not only give you both a break from life’s other concerns, it will help you rekindle the romance that you felt way back, and remind both of you that the person you love is well worth the effort to look your best.
Start a Relationship Blog Together
Many couples are hesitant to discuss their relationship with others, even close and trusted friends. This is completely understandable. However, often we feel like the depression we experience, and the possible guilt or anger that comes with it, from our relationship woes is unique to us. This can make us feel isolated, alone and that there’s something wrong with us.
Connecting with other couples can be crucial to maintaining your own love life, because you can both see that you’re not alone in your struggle, and it’s 100% possible to improve your relationship. Sharing your stories and advice together will help other couples through their relationship concerns, and will almost certainly lead to some great advice for your own. You don’t have to treat your blog like a tabloid, spilling every dirty secret between you; you can be as open as you choose to be.
Write about topics like your relationship history, what drew you both to each other, challenges that you’ve faced and how you overcame them, and moments of triumph that you achieved together. To keep your blog interesting to you, and more appealing to your readers, share pictures from events that you’re discussing on your blog, or use free stock love photography to
illustrate more general topics like relationship advice.
Give Each Other Space
You’re probably thinking, “What?!? No! That’s dumb! We’re growing apart as it is!”, but hear me out. Often times, one thing that can lead to feelings of isolation, or a widening gap between couples is that one or both feels crowded. When we’re constantly bugging each other about the money in our bank account, whose turn it is to do the dishes, asking, “Why can’t we take a vacation right now?”, and other similar concerns, we can often make our partner feel like we’re crowding them, only coming to them with our problems, and that we don’t value their space.
After marriage, or even after if you’ve been dating a while, it’s easy to forget that you’re both individuals, and before you came into each other’s lives, you had your own way of doing things, with your own schedules. While we can and definitely should change our ways to help strengthen our relationships, the reality is that we’re still people; we need to be allowed to do certain things the way we want to do them, and when we choose. On the other hand, we also need to respect those boundaries for our partner as well.
If you and your partner don’t seem keen to interact as much anymore, or you sense there’s tension when you do talk, consider giving the other some space. Don’t get me wrong: if you sense a deeper issue is at play, you need to open up and discuss it with your partner first; as the old saying goes, “Bad news doesn’t improve with time.” But once you’ve had that discussion, if you or your partner feels crowded, give each other time to pursue your own interests. Go out with your friends, watch TV in different rooms, or split up when you go shopping. Your partner will appreciate that you respect their boundaries and feelings, and after some time to recharge, you’ll be the first person they want to reconnect with..
Crazy Little Thing Called Love
Relationships can be tricky from the beginning, and keeping a relationship going can be trickier still. You’re going to have bad times in your relationship, potentially so bad that you’re tempted to call it quits. This is normal, and you need to both accept and understand this because it will turn your relationship concerns from an insurmountable roadblock into a challenge that you can face and overcome together.
The important thing to remember is that you love your partner, and they love you, even if you don’t feel it as strongly as you both once did. Remember that you were both drawn to each other for a reason, and though we evolve and grow as time goes on, never forget that what was true then can still be true today. If you do, you will still face those same hardships, but you’ll be able to overcome them together.